Forgiveness is overcoming hurts from the pastLearn to Forgive"Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves". Quote from: Sidney and Suzanne Simon. I was talking with my sister and her husband recently about how to be happy, and I realize that unforgiveness is a bondage that we can place on ourselves.
No matter what we say to him, he is unwillling to let go of the hurt and resentment that he is holding againt others who have hurt him. All of us have been hurt to some degree by the words or actions of others. When someone you love and care about hurts you, you can harbor and hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge; or, you can choose the healthy path to let go and move on with your life. When I choose to pardon someone, even though I remember the event, it has no negative effect on me. It gives me peace within and and a sense of purpose for living. What really is forgiveness?It is difficult to define what it is, but generally speaking, this is a decision we make to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge.To let go of these emotions is the act of releasing yourself of the thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you. This can reduce the power these feelings can have over you, so that you can live a fuller and happier life. The person who makes you angry, resentful and bitter, really controls your life. You need to be in control of your feelings and emotional reactions. No one can really make you bitter and resentful, you choose to react in those ways. Cease to resent others, it is a gift to give to yourself. When we let go of the past, it can even lead to feelings of understanding, love, empathy and compassion for those who hurt you. Should you forgive and forget?When I choose to pardon someone, it doesn't mean that I have forgotting what happened to me. Those acts that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life.But it can lessen its tangled hold on you and help you focus on other positive areas of your life. We often view offering pardon to others as something they have done us wrong that they must ask of us. Remember, there is always another (and ofentimes a better) way of looking at things.
When you do not pardon your "neighbours" it's like taking the poison and expecting them to die! When you experience hurt, harm or bitterness from someone's actions or words, whether this is intended or not. You may begin to experience negative feelings such as anger, confusion, sadness or even depression, especially if it's someone you love and care about. These feeling can appear small and insignificant at the beginning, but if nothing is done about them urgently, they can turn out to be "cancer" in your body. Benefits of letting go of the pastResearch and the evidence of others have shown that the effects of unforgiveness and bitterness can result in long-term health problems. A forgiving "heart", on the other hand, can give us many health and personal benefits:More peace of mind It is natural to pardon others, as Alexander Pope once said: "To err is human, to forgive, Divine". You always have the choice to forgive. Therefore, you have the choice not to release the past and there are consequences. Refusing to pardon and let go of the anger, resentment and a feeling of betrayal can make your life unhealthy and miserable. Who controls you?There is nothing that is so bad that you cannot offer pardon. I mean absolutely nothing! Are you holding on to hurts that make resentful and bitter? Could it be that you need to develop more inner strength? Mahatma Gandhi once said: "The weak can never forgive. The ability to forgive is the attribute of the strong."If you refuse to free yourself from the past, that is a choice you make to continue to remain a victim. Remember, you always have the choice. When you forgive, you do it for yourself, not for the other. The person who makes you bitter and resentful really controls you! Healing of old woundsThink about an affair, just because you choose to offer pardon, does not mean you have to stay in the relationship. You would be shock to know the amount of hate and bitterness in families.Separation and divorce may result, but without the willingness to forgive, it is not possible to truly make yourself available to a new relationship until you heal the hurt and wounds of the past. Healthy and loving relationships are not possible without letting go of the past! You cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with anyone else, not even yourself, if you continue to hold on to things that still make you bitter and resentful.
Regardless of the situation, making peace with past love partners, your parents, children, your neighbours, your boss or anyone who you think may have "done you wrong". It is the only way to improve your chances of a "healthy" relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter!
To offer pardon to someone is to agree within yourself to overlook the wrong they have done you and to move on with your life. It's the better way. That is always your choice, yes, the choice to forgive is only and always yours. Have you experienced true-forgiveness? Have you been forgiven by God? These are important questions that can help you let go of the past and embracing a bright health-conscious future. Click on the above links to get more.
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